Free Self-Assessment
Are you still carrying your last relationship into your next one?
The Emotional Baggage Audit is a diagnostic tool that scores the five core emotions most people are still carrying — and shows you exactly what each one is doing to your next relationship.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Five things people don't realise are still running until someone names them.
"I'm over it — but I still rehearse arguments with them in my head."
"I don't trust anyone new. I'm looking for the catch before they've even done anything wrong."
"I know I should be moving on, but the sadness hits me at random — in the car, in the shower, at 2am."
"I'm terrified of ending up alone, but I'm also terrified of ending up here again."
"I keep wondering if it was my fault. If I'd been different, maybe they would have stayed."
"Most people leave a relationship and tell themselves they're 'over it.' They're not — they've just stopped talking about it."
From the Audit
What the audit gives you
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A concrete score, not a vague feeling
Rate each of the five core emotions on a 0–10 scale. The total tells you whether you're clear, cautious, or carrying your last relationship into every new conversation.
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Specific descriptions you'll recognise
Each emotion is described in terms of what it actually looks like when unresolved — not abstract categories, but behaviours you'll see yourself in.
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What each emotion costs you
Every unresolved emotion above a 3 has a specific, predictable effect on your next relationship. The audit names them so you see the pattern before it plays out.
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The one question that changes everything
"Could you say your ex's name right now, out loud, without anything tightening in your chest?" The most honest diagnostic in the document.
The five emotions you'll score
Each one, when unresolved, shapes your next relationship before it begins.
Anger
Makes you defensive before there's anything to defend against
Sadness
Makes you cling to early connection because you're still grieving
Hurt
Makes you test people before you've given them a real chance
Fear
Makes you avoid intimacy or rush it — both are anxiety dressed differently
Guilt
Keeps you over-giving or self-sabotaging to match a story about being the problem
"Could you say your ex's name right now, out loud, without anything tightening in your chest?"
If not — that's not failure. That's honesty.
And honesty is where the real work begins.
Take the audit.
See what you're still carrying.
It takes two minutes. What it shows you will stay with you much longer.